Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
