My boss' voice literally gives me gas
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
