I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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