Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
