I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i drank out of a bidet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
