did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize