I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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