I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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