She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize