Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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