Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
