Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
