And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Randomize
