well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
