where are you?
Hypothermia
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
