R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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