It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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