Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
