You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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