She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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