just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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