went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
