They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
