So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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