I just saw a hot homeless man
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
