could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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