I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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