Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
