She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize