We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
