don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
