I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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