break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize