Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
