just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
