Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
