Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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