You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
