Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
