haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Everything about him screamed your future.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
