I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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