6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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