did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
