oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
