It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
