so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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