I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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