dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
