I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
