just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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