i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
