Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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