My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
