Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
