Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
