He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
