Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
