that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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