i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize