He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
