She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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