Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
