Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
