i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
