she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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