I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize