So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
