Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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