Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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