it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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