When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize